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I do not live an unexamined life. If you are reading my Girlifesto, you are also driven to search within and without to define the meaning of your existence. Choosing to walk an alternative path is not a frivolous decision. The compulsion to pursue a path not regimented by culture, society, family, or religion requires courage. It is a painful process frequently delayed by false starts, dead-ends, and the restoration needed to recover from fractured illusions.
You LOVE sex. Otherwise you wouldn't be here on a swingers site, you'd be on ebay trying to score that rookie baseball card. Monogamy can be difficult when you love variety. The attraction of sexual adventure is so powerful, we can be led astray even if we are enjoying a happy marriage. Our DNA programs us for this. We feel compelled to procreate and the desire of both sexes is monogamy plus adultery.
Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein published in 1961, won the 1962 Hugo Award This was the first book I ever read that had swingers in it. Well, it wasn't called swinging, but the orgies and communal living certainly inspired the generation who decided to throw off the shackles of conventional sexuality. It is considered to be the most socially influential book ever written by Robert Heinlein. The main character, Valentine Michael Smith was the child of the first Mars expedition. The crew died on Mars and he was raised by Martians. When he returns to Earth in his twenties, he is human in appearance, but culturally an alien. His otherworldly views and experiences take a hard look at human behavior. It asks why do we do the things we do and should we continue in the same way. Politics, religion, sexuality, marriage are all examined through alien eyes. The book actually spawned a pagan church. It made me think about what I do and why I do it. When I read it, I was still in a very narrow minded church. Though I continued in the religion another 15 years, it did change how I looked at religion. I decided that religion was like being made into a bonsai tree. My essential nature could not be changed. A maple is a maple is a maple. What I hoped was that the strictures and limitations of my church could be used to concentrate and distill my essence into something beautiful. Playing Truth or Dare can be a good ice breaker. Strip Poker is another good game that can be played to set the mood.
I looked up swing in a dictionary recently. There were 22 different definitions, some verbs, some nouns. My favorite one is to live in a lively, modern, relaxed style. A swinger has all these attributes. He wants to live life, not watch it or let it pass by. She's a forward thinker, able to think outside the box. They really appreciate the pleasurable, physical, part of life. This relaxed attitude allows them to connect with others in meaningful ways.
Swinging has been around for a long time. There were periods in ancient Rome when it was quite popular. Julia, the daughter of the Emperor Augustus was famous/infamous for her dalliances. People were always surprised that all five of her children looked just like her husband. She replied, "Well that's because I never take on a passenger unless I already have a full cargo," meaning that she waited until she was already pregnant before playing around. We are very lucky in our society to have control over our sexuality and procreation.
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