I believe that the prevalence of bi-women compared to bi-men is a result of cultural bias. Think about the way we look at bi-sexuality, Bi-sexual women are SEXY Bisexual men are SCARYThere is so much fear of male alternate sexuality, it takes tremendous courage to express it anywhere, even on a Swingers com site such as this. Women traditionally accommodate their men. Perhaps their bi-experiences begin that way, but I think women are able to think more creatively about emotional issues and so are more likely to express curiosity, inclination, and attraction for the same sex. I used to say I wasn't bi, necessarily, I just had no gender prejudices. :-) Then I realized after having played with more than a dozen women, I wasn't just without prejudice, I genuinely enjoyed sex with women in a playful setting. I just didn't want to marry them. :-)
Rules are often set between partners prior to "swinging". "No means No" is a rule that ALL swingers should follow. But other rules can be set about respect, jealousy, privacy, and even code words or signs.
We have discovered that without a doubt the best way for us to "break the ice" is to become involved together as a couple first. The other couple will become involved together as well and before you know it everyone is relaxed and extremely aroused. Swapping partners seems to happen naturally creating a totally AMAZING swinging encounter.
I do not live an unexamined life. If you are reading my Girlifesto, you are also driven to search within and without to define the meaning of your existence. Choosing to walk an alternative path is not a frivolous decision. The compulsion to pursue a path not regimented by culture, society, family, or religion requires courage. It is a painful process frequently delayed by false starts, dead-ends, and the restoration needed to recover from fractured illusions.