The Swingers Report

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You LOVE sex. Otherwise you wouldn't be here on a swingers site, you'd be on ebay trying to score that rookie baseball card. Monogamy can be difficult when you love variety. The attraction of sexual adventure is so powerful, we can be led astray even if we are enjoying a happy marriage. Our DNA programs us for this. We feel compelled to procreate and the desire of both sexes is monogamy plus adultery.

A polyamorous couple is a couple who adds others to their lives for not only recreational sex. There is more of an emotional attachment/love between all involved. Although there are many polyamorous swingers, practicing in polyamory one should be aware of the different guidelines that may not apply to basic swinging.

I think somebody ought to complain. Have you seen that program Wife Swap? It is excruciatingly painful to watch. What were they thinking? Why would anyone want to swap a perfectly good wife for some nightmare from across the country? Nobody seems to be having any fun. Now swingers know what wife swapping is all about. We don't look for some creature so different from us that she spends the whole time criticizing the family and in general just making a nuisance of herself. We use swinger personals to match desire, attraction, need, and humor. Why find someone who wants to rearrange your kitchen cabinets, when you can have someone snuggle up and make you totally forget about the kitchen. Sigh, well, maybe the fall season will have something we can really enjoy. :-)

While at a convention I ran accross the book, "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt (a pseudonym of Janet Hardy), and realized someone had written just what I believed in my heart; that it was possible to be free in my sexual behaviour while still maintaining an ethical standard.

This book is funny and smart and informative. Wikipedia has a whole article about it.

Here are some excerpts from the book:

"We are particularly in favor of multiple partners having a chance to meet each other, or at least hear about each other, to dispel our self-created mythology that the other person is younger, thinner, sexier, etc. You might be surprised, when you meet your lover's lover, to find the experience downright reassuring. "

"We believe that it is fundamentally a radical political act to deprivatize sex. So much oppression in our culture is based on shame about sex: the oppression of women, of cultural minorities, oppression in the name of the (presumably asexual) family, oppression of sexual minorities. We are all oppressed. We have all been taught, one way or another, that our desires, our bodies, our sexualities, are shameful. What better way to defeat oppression than to get together in communities and celebrate the wonders of sex? "

"A ring around the finger does not cause a nerve block to the genitals. "

"A slut shares her sexuality the way a philanthropist shares his money because they have a lot to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place. "

""Easy": Is there, we wonder, some value in being difficult? "

"It is amazing to us to think ... that most people in our culture have never had a chance to watch another person enjoy sex. No wonder we worry so much about our appearance. "

"Women Swingers" have a role that has been greatly evolving over the past 30 or 40 years in swinging. It is not only common, but often times expected that women take the assertive role in choosing "sex partners" and setting boundaries and limits. Swinging allows women and men to explore alternate sex-roles.

"The Lifestyle", for many couples, increases happiness and contentedness in their relationship as well as a better awareness of themselves and their spouse. Many couples in the lifestyle also report more closeness, less role playing, and a more equal partnership.

Swinging IS NOT all about sex ALL the time. Being a swinger does not indicate that all we do is have sex in a crowded room with nude bodies all around us. But when we do swing/ engage in sexual encounters with others, it's for recerational sex only. Couples do not seek the qualities in partners that we once searched for in our spouse, that has been found and cannot get any better. In connecting with potential swinging partners I agree that attraction is important but, comes in many forms. Swinging places very few limits on you so why limit yourself to only those whom have always captured your attention? There is a HIGE variety of people who swing, all with an enormous array of traits to offer. Being too picky and superficial only limits you. If you close your mind to variety you are missing all the bells and whistles as well as the concept of swinging.