The Swingers Report

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"Women Swingers" have a role that has been greatly evolving over the past 30 or 40 years in swinging. It is not only common, but often times expected that women take the assertive role in choosing "sex partners" and setting boundaries and limits. Swinging allows women and men to explore alternate sex-roles.

If you want your sex personals profile to be effective you must realize that sex is a vehicle. The destination is up to you. You can use sex as an art, a sport, a path to enlightenment, a ritual, a sacrament, an ego pig-out or a weapon, just to name a few. The important thing to know is what is it for you and are you articulating your wants/need/desires to the person/persons you are asking to get into the vehicle with you. So, know yourself. Be honest. Be real. Just being polite or nice doesn't work. Being nice is like faking orgasm, it benefits no one. Being real is more likely to help you and your partners fulfill their innermost desires. Then, remember to be kind. We are all different and when we honor each other's differences we make the world a better place.

I believe that the prevalence of bi-women compared to bi-men is a result of cultural bias. Think about the way we look at bi-sexuality, Bi-sexual women are SEXY Bisexual men are SCARYThere is so much fear of male alternate sexuality, it takes tremendous courage to express it anywhere, even on a Swingers com site such as this. Women traditionally accommodate their men. Perhaps their bi-experiences begin that way, but I think women are able to think more creatively about emotional issues and so are more likely to express curiosity, inclination, and attraction for the same sex. I used to say I wasn't bi, necessarily, I just had no gender prejudices. :-) Then I realized after having played with more than a dozen women, I wasn't just without prejudice, I genuinely enjoyed sex with women in a playful setting. I just didn't want to marry them. :-)

The first time I ever went to a swingers club, I didn't go there to swing. I was a professional BDSM switch and I used to occasionally work with a Mistress. She called me and asked if I wanted to do some public play with a cross-dresser from out of town. He could never go out dressed where he lived, so being seen by others was a great turn on.

He was tall with great legs. Cross-dressers always have the best legs. They make me jealous. He was all dressed up in heels and hose, in a red dress, with a blond wig. We went to 2Risque in Atlanta, Georgia. Everyone there was friendly and open to us doing a little BDSM play.

He sat down on a barstool and I took a 30 foot latex strap about 3 inches wide and tied him to the chair with his legs spraddled wide open. I then took a knife and cut off his hose, and played with him with various toys. The local swingers were kind enough to stop by, fondle him, and give him lots of sweet attention. We had a great time, and he went home very happy.

When introuducing new sexual experiences with your partner, you must always "build her up" make sure she knows that to you, she is the sexiest woman in the world. But there is only so much you can say and do. Women who may be battling with self esteem issues seem to overlook the compliments of the ones who love them the most. In her mind, you certainly will not tell her that she is not attractive. I'm sure she appreciates the compliments but she probably simply does not believe them. Hearing compliments from others will help her. I hear day after day from women in the lifestyle that swinging has opened them up and given them self esteem, allowed them to let go and enjoy not only sex but life in general so much more. There is such a variety of people in the swinging community that superficial issues such as weight, skin color, sexual preference etc etc just doesn't seem to matter. I suggest that you talk with her, show her this forum and try to make her understand that she does not have to be "perfect" to enjoy the two of you swinging together. None of us are perfect and actually swinging would be so very boring if we were.

Decide what your swinging style is.

• Closed: I don't want to be around when my partner is having sex with someone else
• Open: I love to watch and I have to watch.
• Soft: I want the appetizer to be otherskissing, heavy petting, etc. But, the main eventintercoursemust be with my partner
• Voyeur: I just want to watch, I'll have sex when I get home.
• Exhibitionist: I just want to perform for others. You can look, but don't touch.

All of these are acceptable behaviors. Just know what you want and be able to express it.

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