The Swingers Report

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Swingers are a forward thinking bunch. They look around at the way most people conduct their lives and choose to think for themselves. They choose intimacy and connection with others. They choose pleasure and sharing their lives with others. I appreciate that.

Swinging is a social activity. Ordinary social customs of being polite, initiating conversations, being a good listener, and the ability to form friendships are all needed characteristics to enjoy your Swing Cub experience. Before you go, discuss the desired outcome of the evening with your partner. Are you comfortable saying yes and if one says know will your partner back you up and not try to coerce you? What sort of safety precautions will you take? Be prepared. Don't rely on someone else to guard your life. If you have friends who attend a club, try to go with them a few times. It will help you to not be nervous.

I looked up swing in a dictionary recently. There were 22 different definitions, some verbs, some nouns. My favorite one is to live in a lively, modern, relaxed style. A swinger has all these attributes. He wants to live life, not watch it or let it pass by. She's a forward thinker, able to think outside the box. They really appreciate the pleasurable, physical, part of life. This relaxed attitude allows them to connect with others in meaningful ways.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein published in 1961, won the 1962 Hugo Award

This was the first book I ever read that had swingers in it. Well, it wasn't called swinging, but the orgies and communal living certainly inspired the generation who decided to throw off the shackles of conventional sexuality. It is considered to be the most socially influential book ever written by Robert Heinlein.

The main character, Valentine Michael Smith was the child of the first Mars expedition. The crew died on Mars and he was raised by Martians. When he returns to Earth in his twenties, he is human in appearance, but culturally an alien. His otherworldly views and experiences take a hard look at human behavior. It asks why do we do the things we do and should we continue in the same way. Politics, religion, sexuality, marriage are all examined through alien eyes. The book actually spawned a pagan church.

It made me think about what I do and why I do it. When I read it, I was still in a very narrow minded church. Though I continued in the religion another 15 years, it did change how I looked at religion. I decided that religion was like being made into a bonsai tree. My essential nature could not be changed. A maple is a maple is a maple. What I hoped was that the strictures and limitations of my church could be used to concentrate and distill my essence into something beautiful.

If someone you swings with starts to have feelings for you, first you certainly would tell your spouse/partner! You must always maintain an open, honest communication within your relationship. I would not only tell this "too attached" swinging partner that it's inappropriate, I would also tell them that you do not share those feelings, that you have told your spouse/partner and that you will no longer be swinging with them. You may want to stay friends but I would advise you to place distance between you and them. This kind of situation happens much more often than many of us may realize. Those not into polyamory do not accept this while swinging but there are many polyamorous swingers. For you in this situation, simply move on.